Modern Romance: An Investigation, by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg
Finally, last year, out of the sea of blogs, books, podcasts, and scientific studies about modern love, a smart, positive and honest book about dating and the search for relationships has emerged from a source I didn’t expect: Aziz Ansari. In Modern Romance: An Investigation, Ansari has teamed up with NYU sociologist, Eric Klinenberg to put together the results of their huge research project that collected data from around the world. The result is a very readable book that combines excellent social science with irreverent humor to give us a comprehensive and compassionate tour of the new romantic world.
Reading this book was a pleasure as well as an education in this landscape, and something I’m very happy to recommend to clients. It starts with highlighting the dramatic social change: that in just two decades, people suddenly have more romantic options than at any time in human history. Social media, smartphones and online dating have made the ability to connect with these options incredibly easy. The result is that people can struggle with pretty intense anxiety in the face of overwhelming options for their hope of finding someone with whom they can share a deep connection.
From my clients who’ve read/listened to it, the feedback has been unanimously positive (‘surprisingly confidence building’ is a consistent response). It’s opened up meaningful avenues of exploring the search for relationship as well as, for clients in relationships, coming to a deeper understanding of committed love.